Maularia Fist

poem: still growing

still growing

what….am I….going to do….about it all

sometimes my world’s a mess
going through chaotic and difficult things
at least my mind knows what is best
while having no control over my moodswings
it’ll tell me to take some rest

I know my own kind of darkness – and
I also know my kind of light
it’s like a whole development has been there
so now I have, on it all, more sight
or at least I might

there’s a force of life in my body
there’s also power emitting from my soul
energy is being poured from all around
and all I have to do is to relax and use
whatever I actually need

© Maularia Fist

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Maularia Fist

poem: sometimes

sometimes

sometimes I think about
why I have to live
and why I have to fear
so much love still to give
after my little tear
has left my heart
but I don’t know
where to start
I’m such terrified
my soul has been fried
at the corner in my room
thinking about the moon
why he still got to show
if it still is, mine or his
well there’s no answer to it all
it ain’t written on the wall

© Maularia Fist

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Maularia Fist

poem: some thoughts of mine

some thoughts of mine

I’m not crazy enough
for this totally crazy world
that sometimes makes me confused
and I just still think that
it’s a joy to be alive

grateful am I for every new day
that signs itself as in an unique way
with the sun in each skyline
guess what, the earth’s still doing fine
at least it does in my lifetime

and I still remember my childhood
what a nice time that was
wish sometimes I would be young again
just for fun or for the heck of it
just for fun or for the heck of it

© Maularia Fist

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Maularia Fist

poem: jolly darkness

jolly darkness

I’ve got no flashlight to shine
while going through the jolly darkness
I’ve got no lighter to unflame
while going through the jolly darkness
I’ve got no matchstick to burn
while going through the jolly darkness
I’ve got no torch to set fire to
while going through the jolly darkness
that’s my mind

it’s dark in this long and lonely hall
been walking for ages through it and
is it now spring or the fall
where will my journey end

can anyone give me the answer
cause I’m about to go in maniac mode
can anyone please tell me and fast
before my other nature takes over

and then I will do desastrous things
throw with anger all the thrash around
and it won’t be over till the fat lady sings
and I will not be there though
cause I’ll be licking my wounds

© Maularia Fist

everything in this post goes about fictional situations so

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Maularia Fist

engelstalig gedicht

only if you want to

it’s time to take a deep breath
of the kind you feel in your spine
to breathe or not to breathe
is a choice between life and death
and that’s not a simple one

my body is in shape
though I’d like to be fitter
could it be that I just hit it
or was his jackpot the big hitter
at least I’m not bitter – or sour

all I want for today is to be at peace
with myself and with others
and I have no use for resistance anymore
when there’s cake enough, when I have a piece
also take some if you want to
‘cause there’s more than enough

© Maularia Fist

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Maularia Fist

after it all

after it all

is it a miracle, is it a miracle
all the things in my life I survived
and I’m still here kickin it
kickin it very hard – and loud

you won’t believe the noise I make
when my stomach’s upset and
all I do is puke and puke and puke
until I can only taste it

that’s my way to relieve stress
and it’s an reaction to panic attacks
but I’m not very proud of all that
when some things are hitting my trigger points

© Maularia Fist

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Maularia Fist

jolly darkness

jolly darkness

I’ve got no flashlight to shine
while going through the jolly darkness
I’ve got no lighter to unflame
while going through the jolly darkness
I’ve got no matchstick to burn
while going through the jolly darkness
I’ve got no torch to set fire to
while going through the jolly darkness
that’s my mind

it’s dark in this long and lonely hall
been walking for ages through it and
is it now spring or the fall
where will my journey end

can anyone give me the answer
cause I’m about to go in maniac mode
can anyone please tell me and fast
before my other nature takes over

and then I will do desastrous things
throw with anger all the thrash around
and it won’t be over till the fat lady sings
and I will not be there though
cause I’ll be licking my wounds

© Maularia Fist

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Maularia Fist

just a moment

just a moment

it is unheard off, for how far I know
I’m not depressed nor that I feel happy
it’s more a state of being in between
and the days are quickly rather dark

I still know that there is light behind clouds
the sun is shining for everyone
you just have to know it is there – so
I guess I’m in my head to much

is there a spark of light in my heart
or is it the calm before the storm comes
can someone give me answers I can use
that’s all I have to ask myself for now

© Maularia Fist

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